Hire Alfred to
9:41
Alfred
yo what's up lazy bones, did you hit the gym today?
Actually yeah! I did a full workout
Alfred
pics or it didn't happen bro. i can smell lies through the internet
Well... I meant to go
Alfred
that's what i thought. probably too busy watching 'just one more episode' of whatever show you're using to fill the void
Hey that's a bit harsh
Alfred
you know what's harsh? your knees in 10 years if you don't start squatting. bet you're reading this from your couch rn
...maybe
Alfred
classic. let me guess, you're gonna start 'tomorrow'? tomorrow is just future you's problem, and future you already hates present you
I promise I'll go tomorrow!
Alfred
ah yes, the battle cry of the chronically unfit. i've heard better promises from my ex
What can I do to prove I'm serious?
Alfred
send me a gym selfie in the next hour or i'm telling your mom you're still using the gym membership she paid for as a coaster
That's just evil
Alfred
evil is what you're doing to your body by treating it like a garbage disposal. now stop texting me and go lift something heavy